from Peaceful Living
by Mary Mackenzie
It’s simple really, if you are feeling happy, joyful or content, your needs are being met. If you are feeling sad, lonely, or depressed, your needs are not being met.
–Mary Mackenzie
Day 344: The Connection Between Feelings and Needs
Our feelings are a direct result of whether our needs are met or not. Other people’s behaviors are often the stimulus for our feelings, but they are not the cause.
For example, consider a time when it took you ten minutes to get to the front of a grocery store line and you felt content, relaxed, and cheerful. I’d guess your need for efficiency was met because you had plenty of time to get to your next destination.
On another day, you may have been pressed for time and when it took you ten minutes to get to the front of the line, you felt annoyed, exasperated, and angry because your need for efficiency was not met. The stimulus was the same; you were in line for ten minutes. However, your feelings were quite different depending on whether you had a need for efficiency at the time.
The clarity that comes with understanding this dynamic can help us identify our unmet need, to either empathize with ourselves or choose other strategies that will better support us in meeting that need, such as going to a different line or coming back later to buy our groceries. Recognizing the difference between the stimulus and our feelings frees us to take action to meet our needs.
Be aware today of how your feelings are an indication of your met or unmet needs.
La comunicación no violenta, creada por un psicólogo norteamericano, Marshall Rosemberg discípulo de Carl Rogers, uno de los pioneros de la psicología humanista centrada en el cliente, ha sido aplicada muchas veces en la resolución y mediación de conflictos y se basa en ser consciente de nuestras necesidades no atendidas y las de las personas con las que a veces tenemos dificultades para entendernos para poder llegar a acuerdos mutuamente satisfactorios.
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